Who in the world can define justice, yet we all have the feeling that we know what it is. We all complain when something is not fair, when our rights or our dignity have been attacked, but do we show justice to others as much as we desire it be shown to us?
One of the litmus tests of a good person is words. Our words indicate what kind of person we are. Are our words sneaky, meant to hide our intentions and our true feelings? Are our words guarded in such a way as to make us look good, while hiding anger, hostility, pain, or deceit? Nothing is more revealing about a person than the words they choose to use. I don't mean swear words, sometimes swear words are necessary, even fun, though some of my more pietistic brethren would disagree with me, but what the h*** do they know. :-)
There is something far more important than just "making-nice" with our words. Do you hear someone running down another person, you can bet they treat all their acquaintances and friends the same way. If someone gossips about one person, they gossip about all. Gossip is not committed by occasional accident, it is a way of life. It is one of those "gifts" that keeps on giving.
What is gossip? It is speaking of another person's problems, flaws, station in life, habits, weaknesses, viewpoints or actions in a manner that, though possibly true (possibly not), is intended to demean another in the eyes of the one with whom that information is shared. Sometimes this is called slander, but that word is too narrow, gossip is more insidious than straight out slander. Gossip has nuances only hell itself has names for. One thing God's Kingdom lacks is the filthy-pleasure of gossip.
One teacher defined gossip as "Sharing information about a third party with someone who is neither part of the problem, nor part of the solution." There are probably some other good definitions out there as well, but we all know what it is and what it is intended to do to another person. It is always meant for harm. It is never meant for good. It is always satanic, it is always evil. (James 3:13-15)
Has anyone ever gossiped to you about someone? You can be absolutely certain they gossip about you too. Gossip is one of the most unjust acts of violence in existence. It is always against another person. No one spreads rumors about themselves. Gossip is an attack against another person - it is suppose to be as secret and as subtle as an IED; and before long, many are mutilated by the explosion. It is especially bad because the person(s) whose character is being calling into question is not present to defend themselves, and they have no body armor with which to protect themselves. That seems to me, very much like punching someone who's handcuffed -- and when it happens to you, it feels like just about as much fun as being water-boarded. It is sheer gut-wrenching torture. So why do we do it?
Until we recognize that this is the only way a coward knows to fight we will continue to be its victims. The coward feels compelled to say nasty things about others behind their back, because they would never dare to say the things they say about others to their face, in polite company, or in the open public. A coward uses words to harm others by sniping at them. All gossips are snipers. All gossip is cowardly. A gossip's words are calculated to hurt, wound, damage, and diminish others. The terrifying thing is, it works, and it works all too well.
I suggest we stop listening to gossips. We might even speak frankly to their face, that we will not permit them to harm others in our presence. Why do we listen to it? Is it that we share their desire to wound others in secret? Does our listening give us a sense of power, of being on the inside, of being privileged to know the dirt others don't? Does gossiping and listening to gossip give us a sick sense of power over others? Do you like to read the gossip columns, or enjoy the wicked things people say about others on the Internet. May I suggest that we would grow wiser and more virtuous if we stopped reading and believing such things about others - whoever the "others" are?
Think of the gossip as a coward who commits acts of violence against people who cannot defend themselves. Does this sound like what spiritual behavior should look like? NO? Well neither does the Bible. God is very specific that the gossip is living out of sync with God's Spirit. For He has never, and will never, speak evil of anyone, no matter who they are, or what they have done. He may speak the truth, and the truth may hurt, but He will speak it to your face, never behind your back. (Titus 3:1-6)
The tongue is an unruly member in our body, James the Apostle tells us. No one is able to tame the tongue. It is a world of evil, full of poison. (James 3:8-10) It is like the spark and flame that set ablaze hillsides, destroyed homes, and cost individuals their lives and livelihoods in Los Angeles this past autumn. It is, in short, a destructively powerful and terrible weapon that we each wield against others as though there would be no consequences to the things we say.
Yes, I am guilty of gossip, maybe more than most. It has caused me enormous heartache, and has wounded friends and family. May God forgive me -- but more -- may God deliver me from the careless words I speak. This is my prayer. May God teach me the justice of good speech, and may my words become both just and fair, wise and winsome. My I always speak well of others.
My mom use to tell me, "Dan, you better sprinkle lots of sugar on those words, 'cause someday, I guarantee you, you will have to eat them." Yes, mom, you were right. I wish now I had put more sweetness in them. Some of the things I've said have been pretty bitter and pretty sad.
Here's to sweet words, and fair speech, and good reports about everyone. Paul says, "Speak evil of no man." May God teach me this lesson, not only for my tongue, but for my heart as well.
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